unredeemed

much needed reminder

this week

I really needed to find this song...

When trials come no longer fear
For in the pain our God draws near
To fire a faith worth more than gold
And there His faithfulness is told
And there His faithfulness is told

Within the night I know Your peace
The breath of God brings strength to me
And new each morning mercy flows
As treasures of the darkness grow
As treasures of the darkness grow

I turn to Wisdom not my own
For every battle You have known
My confidence will rest in You
Your love endures Your ways are good
Your love endures Your ways are good

When I am weary with the cost
I see the triumph of the cross
So in it's shadow I shall run
Till He completes the work begun
Till He completes the work begun

One day all things will be made new
I'll see the hope You called me to
And in your kingdom paved with gold
I'll praise your faithfulness of old
I'll praise your faithfulness of old

by Keith & Kristyn Getty

Makes you think...at least I hope

If you want to watch this, scroll down to the bottom of this page and pause the music. You will then be able to hear the song in this video.

how is it possible...

to miss something so dearly that you've never had and ache for something you've never experienced?

I don't understand

...how we can live in a world where WE allow this to happen. We have more than enough that we are living on luxeries while children are starving to death around the world when it is completely preventable. WE need to be Jesus' hands and feet to the world!

**if you want to hear the video, please pause the music at the bottom of the page.

40 Things

~40 things~
1. Where is your cell phone? sitting on the side of the couch
2. Your significant other? hopefully out there somewhere in this world looking for me...don't give up, I'm here!
3. Your hair? freshly dyed, gotta cover those grays up, seriously
4. Your mother? has a heart of gold. She is one of my best friends and biggest supporters
5. Your father? one of my heros, he loves me and my momma well, and has sacrificed a lot for many people
6. Your favorite thing? paint, you can change so many things with just a coat of paint
7. Your dream last night? I don't remember most of my dreams, just remember having them
8. Your favorite drink? Mountain Dew or Sweet Tea
9. Your dream/goal? to be married to a godly man, have a family and make a difference loving God and loving people
10. What room you are in? Living Room
11. Your hobby? crafting and decorating
12. Your fear? not figuring out and doing what I was created for
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? I really don't know, I don't exactly know how to think about things that far out anymore
14. Where were you last night? at a meeting at church and then at my friend Karina's getting help dying my hair
15. Music? a must, can't live without
16. Muffins? love the tops...just the perfect blend of crunchy and soft...delicous
17. Wish list item? go on an overseas trip this year
18. Where you grew up? just outside of Nashville, TN
19. Last thing you did? got home from a kickboxing class
20. What are you wearing? black pajama pants, hot pink tank top and black fuzzy socks
21. Your TV? old without cable but I just received my DTV coupon so it's getting an upgrade
22. Your pets? none unfortunately. I want a great dane though.
23. Friends? can't live without them
24. Your life? nothing like what I expected
25. Your mood? calm
26. Missing some one? lots of someones. My parents, my brother who is in Iraq, my best friend who is growing a sweet little girl and I'm not there
27. Car? Honda Accord, the car I always wanted
28. Something you’re not wearing? make-up
29. Your favorite store? Anthropologie
30. Your favorite color? Royal Blue, but a deep teal/blue/green is a close second
31. favorite holiday? Christmas
32. Public school? Public through 12 grade, private college, private seminary (Idon't recommend public school to anyone. At least, not the ones I attended or substitute taught at.
33. When is the last time you laughed? a real good laugh...Saturday night, playing with my friend's little girl, she couldn't stop giggling which made me laugh all the more. There is something wonderful about a child's laughter.
34. Last time you cried? a couple weeks ago
35. Who will resend this? ???
36. One place that I go to over and over? work...unfortunately
37. One person who emails me regularly? Michele
38. My favorite place to eat? O'Charleys
39. Why you participated in this survey? why not?
40. What are you doing tonight? I already worked out and now I'm winding down at home about to get ready for bed

home???

I guess I am inspired in my thinking by other people's perspectives on things. I read a post by an old friend today about going "home." You see her parents are moving to an entirely new town and selling the house she grew up in..."her home." She was describing with eerie similarity the same experience I have had. The strange experience of growing up and creating your own home.

I have now lived away from "home" for almost 13 years, 5 1/2 years not even in the same state as "home." But always when thinking about home or talking about home, it has always meant my house, on my street, in my town in Tennessee. It was always the place that I felt at home and safe. Where I felt the most like me. Although my parents have not lived in that house for a few years now, it has still been ours. I could still drive through the hills and curves and make it to the safest place on earth....HOME. I could pull into the driveway, which I did on several occasions, and just sit there, feeling as though the world didn't exist for one moment, before turning my car around and driving back out of the driveway and back on to life. However, a couple months ago, my parents sold the house that had always been my "home."

It is a strange feeling having your "home" gone when you haven't established your own yet. I realize most people my age have their own homes and families now but not me. I am still trying to figure out where my home, the home I create for myself, should be and what it should feel like. I know my parent's home is where I will always be more welcomed that any other place in the world but it will is now "their" home not "ours."


From the movie Garden State:

Andrew: You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.
Sam: I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew: You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.

I am new to the blog world so I wanted my page to be a representation of me...things I like. So tonight I found a great background that I really like (at least for now).....but I decided to leave a picture that I took of a rusty window in NC as the header (again, at least for now). It made me laugh when I saw the blog with the two together. It is so me and almost hysterical. The two would seemingly not belong together at all, however, that is me...eclectic to my core.

I read another bloggers post a couple days ago about apologizing. Apologizing for being herself. As I read it I realized that I can really relate to that, having spent most of my life apologizing for anything and everything. I want to be done with that too. My best friend has been a constant source of encouragement in this area for years. This year I want to understand better who God made me to be...ME. This electic girl who longs for love and desires to be a blessing, who listens to David Crowder Band, Heavy D, Andrea Bocelli, Frankie Avalon and Tracy Lawrence, who loves graffiti, artists colonies, and fine art museums, who wants to try almost everything but is such a perfectionist she won't, who loves to travel and explore yet would love to have her family and closest friends by her side the whole time, who loves damask and adores rust. This is the girl I want to get to know and appreciate how God sees her. God says He had a plan when He created each of us and He put me together this way. I hope to learn to appreciate it more and to see how He wants to use my uniqueness for His glory.

So tonight I begin by saying "Thank You God, thank You for making me who I am. I ask that You would continue to enable me to walk by faith even in the things that I currently do not understand or like about myself or the world. That I would trust Your heart and trust You to use these things, and allow You to willingly, for Your purposes and glory. Thank You for loving me."

It's a start....

I found this quote from Roosevelt on another blog this week and it just seemed very appropriate for our nation this week....

CHEERS to “the doer, not the mere critic- the man who actually does the work, even if roughly and imperfectly, not the man who only talks or writes about how it ought to be done” (Roosevelt, 1891). For, “Criticism is necessary and useful; it is often indispensable; but it can never take the place of action, or be even a poor substitute for it. The function of the mere critic is of very subordinate usefulness. It is the doer of deeds who actually counts in the battle for life, and not the man who looks on and says how the fight ought to be fought, without himself sharing the stress and the danger.” (Roosevelt, 1894)

I saw this today and it got me thinking...I want to be like that. I want to be one that changes things, people, a crazy one that people can see Jesus in.